The truth about sales people in Hospitality

by Steve Steinhart
Long before they were true professionals, they all entered the hospitality field with great aspirations and hopes. I remember how it was all very glamorous: hotels, restaurants, food and beverage, banquets, catering and the like. Ever since we were kids, going to a hotel, banquet, restaurant, etc. was a very big deal. But the vast majority of us did not take our first hospitality job in the sales department. It’s the glamour and excitement of the hospitality INDUSTRY itself that first appealed to us.Then as we get exposed to the different departments and functions of the hotel, we eventually get to thinking the sales department was pretty cool.

After all, those men and women get to dress sharp, wear their own clothes, and even eat in the restaurant with customers. Where do I sign up?

And when we did get to work in the sales department, we find out it’s really a terrific career. We get to work with enthusiastic people who want our services and to have a great time. Often they’re celebrating, or at the very least planning something out of the ordinary.

Our customers want and expect to be treated well no matter what area of hospitality. And we all truly like to make that happen for them.

But a bit of reality eventually sets in. Not that we’re any less dedicated to helping our customers have a great experience. Not that we don’t actually like that we get to dress sharp to be the “face” of our hotel.

Those of us in sales learn quickly that this glamorous business is just that: a business.

While the hospitality field is indeed glamorous and exciting, we all have to perform. If we’re going to succeed and advance our careers, we have to master the skills that serve our clients and potential clients while turning a profit for our property.

Every day we have to overcome the obstacles to doing the selling we were hired to do. We have quotas to meet, prospects to call on, clients to service, paperwork to do, and much more. In short, we have the job of maximizing revenue and profit while giving the customer an outstanding experience that will bring them back again.

Oh and did I forget to mention? All the while we have the competition crawling and scratching for the very same business we’re after.

Frankly, it can all get overwhelming at times. We’d all like to have 30 hours in the day to get more done. Or admit it, wouldn’t we like to be able to clone ourselves from time to time?

Obviously, in each and every department of the hotel, training is needed.

In sales, it’s not just knowing about the hotel and its services, it’s knowing how to sell them.

But how does someone learn to sell? Lots of large hotel chains have great training programs, but it often only goes so far. Many of these programs are centered around systems that are proprietary to the hotel, and many emphasize tactics that are valid only at that particular type of property (resort, city center, airport, etc.) or market.

While these are important skills, many only support the selling function. They don’t necessarily make you a better sales person.

10 Hotel Secrets from Behind the Front Desk

By Jacob Tomsky

1. HOTELS ARE RAKING IT IN.

The fact that a hotel could fail to be profitable astounds me. Why? The average cost to turn over a room, to keep it operational per day, is between $30 and $40. If you’re paying less than $30 dollars a night at a hotel/motel, I’d wager the cost to flip that room runs close to $5. Which makes me want to take a shower. At home. That $40 turnover cost includes cleaning supplies, electricity, and hourly wages for housekeepers, minibar attendants, front desk agents, and all other employees needed to operate a room as well as the cost of laundering the sheets. Everything. Compare that with an average room rate, and you can see why it’s a profitable business.

2. STAYING FOR JUST ONE NIGHT? YOU MIGHT GET “WALKED.”

The term “walking a guest” sends shivers down any manager’s spine. Since the average no-show rate is 10 percent daily, hotels will overbook whenever possible. The sales and reservations departments are encouraged to book the property to 110 percent capacity, in the hopes that with cancellations and no-shows they will fill every room. What happens when the numbers game doesn’t play in the hotel’s favor? Someone gets walked. The hotel will now pay for the entire night’s room and tax (plus one phone call—how cute is that?) at another comparable hotel in the area.

A guest is more likely to get walked if:
1. He booked using Expedia, hence he has a deeply discounted rate and is less important.
2. He never stayed here before and may never visit the city again.
3. He’s a one-nighter.
4. And this one is so much more important than all the others: He is acting like a jerk.

3. SMART COMPLAINERS WIN.

Though most complaints should be delivered to the front desk directly, in person or on the phone, keep in mind that most issues will not have been caused by the front desk at all. So briefly outline your problem, offer a solution if you have one, and then ask whom you should speak with to have the problem solved. “Should I speak to a manager about this?” “Should I speak to housekeeping about this?” Those are wonderful and beautiful questions to ask. Most of the time, the front desk will be able to solve the problem immediately or at least act as proxy.

Want to make sure that the agent doesn’t nod, say “certainly,” and not do a damn thing? Get his or her name. Nothing tightens up an employee’s throat like being directly identified. You don’t have to threaten him or her either, just a nice casual “Thanks for your help. I’ll stop by later to make sure everything has been taken care of. Tommy, right?” Whatever you asked me to do I am doing it. (Will screaming get you what you want? Well, probably. But it’s not nearly as effective.)

4. THERE’S A BETTER WAY TO CASE A PILLOW.

To put on a pillowcase, the housekeepers throw a solid karate chop right down the middle of the pillow and then shove it in, folded like a bun. This method is preferred to the civilian method of tucking it under your chin and pulling up the pillowcase like a pair of pants because these ladies have no interest in letting 50 pillows a day come into contact with their faces.

5. ENJOY YOUR LEMONY FRESH GLASSES.

You know what cleans the hell out of a mirror, and I’m talking no streaks? Windex? No. Furniture polish. Spray on a thick white base, rub it in, and you’ll be face-to-face with a spotless, streak-free mirror. However, I am not recommending you take this tip and apply it in your own home. Though using furniture polish is quick and effective, over time it causes a waxy buildup that requires a deep scrub.

The housekeepers kept this move behind closed doors along with another dirty secret I didn’t discover until I walked in on ladies with Pledge in one hand and a minibar glass in the other. Keeping those glasses clean-looking was also part of the job. So the next time you put a little tap water into the glass and wonder why it has a pleasant lemon aftertaste, it’s because you just took a shot of Pledge.

6. NEVER, EVER PAY FOR THE MINIBAR.

Minibars. Most people are appalled at the prices. However, you never have to pay for the items in the minibar. Why not? Minibar charges are, without question, the most disputed charges on any bill. That is because the process for applying those charges is horribly inexact. Keystroke errors, delays in restocking, double stocking, and hundreds of other missteps make minibar charges the most voided item. Even before guests can manage to get through half of the “I never had those items” sentence, I have already removed the charges and am now simply waiting for them to wrap up the overly zealous denial so we can both move on with our lives.

7. BOOK ON A DISCOUNT SITE, GET A DISCOUNT EXPERIENCE.

Reservations made through Internet discount sites are almost always slated for our worst rooms. Does this seem unfair? First of all, we earn the slimmest profit from these reservations. And honestly, those guests didn’t really choose our property based on quality; they chose based on value. We were at the top of a list sorted by price. But the guest behind them in line, the one with a heavy $500 rate, she selected this hotel. When she comes to New York, she goes to our website to see what’s available. Since we have no reason to assume Internet guests will ever book with us again, unless our discount is presented to them, it truly makes business sense to save our best rooms for guests who book of their own volition.

8. BELLMEN HATE YOUR SUITCASE—BUT NOT BECAUSE IT’S HEAVY.

Bernard Sadow: the man all bellmen hate, though they’ve never heard his name. In 1970, he invented the wheeled suitcase, the bane of the bellman’s existence. Before that, the bellman was a necessity, a provider of ease and comfort, a useful member of society. When Sadow sold his first prototype to Macy’s in October 1970, he instigated a catastrophic change in the hospitality environment, causing the once noble species to retreat, rethink, and reemerge as a hustler fighting for survival. Sadow might as well have invented the phrase no bellman wants to hear, the phrase that leaves bills unpaid and ruins Christmas: “No, thanks, I got it.” Or that surprisingly prevalent and ignorant phrase: “I don’t want to bother him.” Don’t want to bother him? The man has a family. No one is being bothered here!

9. FRONT DESK AGENTS CAN ALSO BE AGENTS OF KARMA.

Any arriving guest should receive what are referred to as initial keys, which are programmed to reset the door lock when they are first inserted, deactivating all previous keys. Not until the keys expire or a new initial key enters the lock will the keys fail to work. With a “key bomb,” I cut one single initial key and then start over and cut a second initial key. Either one of them will work when you get to the room, and as long as you keep using the very first key you slipped in, all will be well.

But chances are you’ll pop in the second key at some point, and then the first key you used will be considered invalid. Trace that back to me? Not a chance. Trace that back to the fact that you told your 9-year-old daughter to shut her mouth while harshly ripping off her tiny backpack at check-in? Never.

10. THERE’S ONE SUREFIRE WAY TO GET AN UPGRADE.

Here is one of the top lies that come out of a front desk agent’s mouth: “All the rooms are basically the same, sir.”

Bull. There is always a corner room, a room with a bigger flat screen, a room that, because of the building’s layout, has a larger bath with two sinks, a room that fits two roll-aways with ease, a room that, though listed as standard, actually has a partial view of the Hudson River. There is always a better room, and when I feel that 20 you slipped me burning in my pocket, I will find it for you. And if there is nothing to be done room-wise, I have a slew of other options: late checkout, free movies, free minibar, room service amenities, and more. I will do whatever it takes to deserve the tip and then a little bit more in the hope that you’ll hit me again.

Some people feel nervous about this move. Please don’t. We are authorized to upgrade for special occasions. The special occasion occurring now is that I have a solid 20. That’s special enough for me!

Read the full text here: http://mentalfloss.com/article/50569/10-hotel-secrets-behind-front-desk#ixzz2f91x6fLH 

Hotel diaries...to be continued

Maria is working for 4 star hotel  for the last 4 years. She started as a receptionist while she was still in the University and then, after graduating she moved in reservations.  

8.00 a.m. Office is still empty-something she cannot say for her mailbox. Large cup of coffee and start reading the first of the 1000 mails, received from 8.00 p.m. yesterday till now. 

Mr. Shum Shi is complaining about his view. He claims that he has been promised to have a sea view. Strange-doesn’t he knows that the sea  is something like 400 km away? Never mind, we have to apologize for not following his special request. And offer a free drink or upgrade for next time.

Mirian from that Israeli tour operator is sending her 45^th update of the rooming list for today. Good, only 15 changes. The coffee is half empty and here comes the third mail. An event organizer from UK chosen your hotel for the 34^th annual conference for “X-cologists something” and require to book your 250 rooms, out of total of 167. What a great research! 8.15 a.m. and already tired. Tripadvisor sends the last day posting of an American couple, staying for a week in your hotel. “Great great great”-wasn’t  it the couple that had the unique chance to be forgotten on the airport, then accommodated in the worst room, near chillers, and then being charged double for a dinner? Oh yeah, don’t forget that the receptionist put them some extra minibar charge at check-out and the laundry lady ruined lady’s favorite dress.

Eddie is a one year old at the reception. Last month he received a name tag without trainee on it. He came on shift 2 hours ago, but he still didn’t had the chance to mention that there is suspicious red bag at the lobby, because all of the departures spontaneously decided to take one and the same flight Friday morning and of course have a breakfast and check-out at one and the same moment.

9.15 a.m. and the bag is still there. Call security guy. A long walk around the bag. Do we have to open it? Noooo, remember Stockholm 1987-there was a bomb in a red bag left at Holiday Inn lobby, be careful! Should we call police? Noooo, what about the image of the hotel? Should we call the Management. Nooooo, they are on a Morning meeting and there are strange things happening there now-no interruption. After 30 minutes of deep reflections, the security guy decided not to do anything and goes back at his office. Afterall somebody left it there, so that somebody has to pick it back.

11.15 the lobby cleaning lady is cleaning around the red bag. “Strange, this bag was here yesterday as well” hey, the receptionist-what is this bag here about? I don’t know, I just came on shift after 3 days off-the longest vacation from one year and don’t you remember my name. Yes, she says-Trainee.

End of morning meeting. GM walks around the hotel. “What’s the story of this bag?” he asks the bellboy :”oh, I don’t know, it was here when I came on shift” and followed by and angry GM’s “then call night shift and follow up-I wanna report by 30 minutes…in written”

30 minutes later “the bag is forgotten by the driver two days ago-it belongs to that old nice American couple with the ruined laundry…”

TBC

.........

by Slava

You want the job? So be prepared!

 

Tom Jackson points out in Interview Express that every employer wants to know ten basic things about you: 1. What results will you achieve? 2. How soon will you become productive? 3. How much supervision will you need? 4. Do you generate more value than cost? 5. Can you become a high performer? 6. Will you fit into the culture? 7. Will you be fun to work with? 8. Are you responsible? 9. Can you manage your own development? and 10. Will you stay? One could add to the list, but these are the key issues that every employer wants the answer to. Every supervisor who has hired five or more people has been disappointed by at least one of those choices. So there is anxiety on the part of the supervisor that perhaps another mistake will be made. Your challenge is to assure the interviewer that there is no risk in hiring you because you can do the job. Throughout the interview you should share examples and answer questions in such a way that the interviewer knows you have these qualities at a high level. While you may be lacking some of the technical or specialized skills which are desirable, you’ll have a good shot at landing the position if you can convince the person you have these qualities.
Let’s look at these points one by one.
1. What results will you achieve?
Employers want results-oriented people. Therefore, you must describe past results and demonstrate that the results you have achieved in the past are typical of the results you will have in the future. Granted, the challenges you will face in the future will be different, but the employer will be satisfied if you can demonstrate that you seek challenges and consistently obtain positive results.
2. How soon will you become productive?
Employers want quick learners who have a knack for understanding what is expected and are willing to do whatever is necessary to get up to speed as rapidly as possible.
3. How much supervision will you need?
Your supervisor will expect you to be cooperative and accept advice and direction. But your supervisor also wants to give you assignments and know that they will be done on time and at high quality. Your supervisor may want periodic updates from you and he will want you to bring any major problems to his attention, but primarily he just wants the assignment done at high quality, with little intervention from him. Describe how past supervisors have entrusted heavy responsibility to you.
4. Do you generate more value than you cost?
The supervisor is looking for evidence that you are cost conscious and that you perform at a high level. Some people utilize excellent time management and prioritize well; as a result their value exceeds their cost. Throughout the interview look for opportunities to show that you bring real value to any job and any organization.
5. Can you become a high performer?
The employer is assessing your potential throughout the interview. The supervisor certainly wants to determine if you can handle the immediate job tasks, but also wants to determine how far you may go in the organization. Potential is sold by demonstrating a willingness to go beyond the norm, to learn quickly, and to work effectively with others.
6. Will you fit into the culture?
Every organization has its own culture. People with certain personalities will flourish in it while others may die slow lingering deaths. The corporate culture in some organizations rewards workaholism, while in others a social consciousness is emphasized. Knowing what the corporate culture is, and knowing in what types of environments you flourish, will help you sell yourself more effectively.
7. Will you be fun to work with?
The employer is not looking for the life of the party, or the person with a thousand jokes. Instead, employers want people who work well with others, are cooperative, considerate, and friendly, and who are enjoyable to be around. The grouch, the negativist, and the cynic are not sought after.
8. Are you responsible?
People who constantly seek more responsibility and can be trusted with it are highly desired. They take responsibility for their actions and do not attempt to blame their mistakes on others. They often volunteer for assignments and are willing to take on some of the “dirt work” because it will help them grow professionally.
9. Can you manage your own development?
While there is a place for training and mentoring, managers seek staff who will take responsibility for their own professional development. Show that you seek out opportunities and make things happen.
10. Will you stay?
If you have a stable work history, emphasize that you seek out high-quality organizations (such as the one you are then interviewing with) so you can grow and develop with them for many years. If your work history is checkered, look for opportunities to emphasize that what you want is stability and that you feel this organization will offer it.
Employers will also be looking for two other qualities:
Communication skills: While interviewing you the employer will be visualizing you dealing with customers and key people from other departments. Without strong communication skills, the employer will not have confidence you can do the job.
Chemistry: The employer will be sensing whether the two of you can work well together. The employer will not be looking for a clone, but must have someone who is compatible. Demonstrate that you can get along with almost anyone. Sell your flexibility and adaptability. Throughout the interview, determine what qualities are most valued by the hiring manager, and demonstrate that you possess those qualities.

Ten Key Things Employers Look For
www.careerempowering.com

Adapting to changes

Change happens whether we want it to or not. Some people welcome change and find ways to turn the unexpected into an opportunity for growth. Others become frightened and simply react. How we handle the inevitable changes in life is key to living a life without fear. The right attitude can mean the difference between allowing unexpected life changes to keep us from achieving our goals or dealing with the changes and growing because of them.
When we are confronted with unforeseen changes in our lives, our first response may be to either run away from it or fight against it. Run or fight is an inborn survival instinct that occurs when we feel threatened. Fueled by adrenaline, the run or fight response is exhausting and leaves us feeling overwhelmed. However, there are steps we can take to gain control of our fear, embrace the challenge and turn adversity into an avenue for success.
Gaining Control
Our first response to sudden change is often panic. Rapid breathing, sweaty palms and eye twitching are all signs of extreme alarm which keeps us from dealing with change in a positive way.
Deep breathing is one of the easiest and most useful techniques we can use to calm and center ourselves.
Follow these deep breathing relaxation steps:

• Sit up straight in a comfortable chair in a quiet, darkened room.
• Close your eyes.
• Try to make your mind blank. Don’t think about the challenges you are facing.
• Inhale through your nose slowly and deeply while silently counting to five. Feel your lungs fill with air.
• Exhale slowly through your mouth while counting to seven. Expel all the air from your lungs.
• Repeat as often as necessary.

Physical exertion is another great way to regain calm. Take a walk or weed the garden. Being outdoors in nature is helpful but the treadmill or exercise bike will work, too. Remember to take deep breaths; refrain from shallow breathing while exercising.
1. Reach out to friends and loved ones. Simply having a cup of tea with a friend can greatly reduce that feeling of panic.
2. Get some sleep but don’t overdo it. Clear your mind and do some deep breathing before retiring at night. Get up at the same time each morning. Don’t use sleep to avoid dealing with the challenges you must face.
3. Eat lots of fruits and vegetables. Stay away from junk food, caffeine and sugars.
4. Other useful techniques to calm stress include meditation, a warm bath and aroma-therapy.
Once the panic response is under control, you can face the problem and think about solutions.
Meeting the Challenge
Give yourself time to adjust. Your mind and body will show you the way to meet the challenge if you listen. Your attitude makes all the difference when dealing with adversity. Train your mind to see the change as a way to make something positive happen. Do not entertain negative thoughts.
Ask for direction from your spiritual force. We are all part of a universe that is much bigger than we are. Whether you call the source God, the universe, nature or your inner self, you are connected to a spiritual source that can not only help you through life’s changes, but can point the way to success.
Write down different choices that you have in response to a change. Ask yourself the consequences of each response, both to yourself, your friends and family. Remember, you will only be successful in meeting this challenge if you stay true to your core beliefs and values.
Picture yourself in the best case scenario after you have succeeded at meeting this challenge. Believe it can happen.
How Change Becomes Success
Unexpected changes often take us by surprise. We may feel as if we have lost our foundation and or are swimming against a rip tide. But change can give birth to our greatest life successes if we open ourselves up to the possibility.
What are the secrets that turn life changes into life successes?
1. Remain true to yourself. Never compromise your beliefs even if it is expedient or seems like the only way out at the time.
2. Listen to your spiritual source. You have asked for help, be receptive when the answer comes.
3. Think outside of yourself. How will your choices affect your friends, family, community and the earth on which we live? You are part of a much larger world and if you make decisions that benefit all, you will benefit yourself.
4. Dream your dreams. Your dreams cannot become reality if you don’t allow yourself to dream.
5. Be patient. Turning change into success may not happen overnight. Knowing that your spiritual source, mind and body are all working together toward one goal will help you stay focused and, in the end, become successful.
6. Help others. While we may be going through change and adversity ourselves, it is through helping others that we truly grow and succeed.
Success is measured in different ways in our society. Most commonly, it is measured by how many cars or homes we own and how our possessions compare to our neighbor’s. The fact is that having money does not necessarily equal happiness. True happiness comes from meeting life’s changes and overcoming challenges while remaining true to ourselves, knowing that we have lived our lives to the fullest, that we have valued others and that we’ve made our planet a better place.

By Julian Burke in Management on September 11th, 2009

Motivation for change…a sharp mind required


By Lynne Dean

We encounter constant changes throughout our life; it could be educational, health, relationships or financial, and of course with oneself. Maintaining or increasing one's sense of self-worth and happiness are strong incentives for these changes.

Too often trials and errors affect our self-esteem and therefore hinder true engagement in learning and changing. It's very comforting to have a routine, and very frightening to go forward to the unknown. Its takes courage and determination. This is nothing new. You have done it before, perhaps not deliberately but you have gone through many changes during your life.

Change is stressful. No doubt about it. Why not make it as stressless as possible? Try to consider the following:

Uderstand the intentions, motivations, and desires of your new endeavours. Acknowledge the strengths and constraint it will bring. Allow yourself to take risks and not to take any fall back personally. Remember trials and errors are part of learning and being alive.

Compel to understand, to appreciate one's feelings, fears and motivations; be sure to use such information to better your life. Use this information to guide your thinking and action.

Let go of negative thoughts, integrate new ideas with what you already know and use the new information to move forward. Be flexible, allow for new and different ways to achieve your goal, it might bring you different opportunities at the end. Why not supply yourself with options. Have some contingencies as backup plans, it will calm down this feeling of vulnerability.

Unfortunately too often as adults we want to do everything ourselves...mistakes. We are not alone; tons of people have been through changes, often similar to ours; seek and accept support from others. They experienced it, they might know something you haven't' thought about. Give it a try.

Don't disown your future, own it. You make your life, take it as a movie set if you like; you are the director, the main actor and the editor. How do you want the story to ensue?

Ask yourself those fundamental questions:
What am I like?
What do I want to be like?
What are my strengths?
What are my weaknesses?
What do I need?
What do I want?
Who could help me?
Want is my plan?

Know that you can achieve whatever you set your mind to. Now is an opportunity to reflect and act upon those thoughts. Changing is a means to an end, not an end in itself.

Until next time,be conscious, flexible in your approach and make yourself happy.

Instead of saying "I don't know"
Say "I'll find out".

Instead of seeing a problem for every answer,
Try seeing an answer for every problem

Instead of saying "That's not my job",
See what has to be done and do it.

Instead of making promises,
Make commitments

Instead of looking at what can't be done,
Look at what can be done

When a mistake is made, instead of saying "It wasn't my fault
Say "I was wrong".

Instead of side-stepping most issues,
Try making decisions

Instead of saying "I'm not as bad as a lot of others",
Say "I'm good, but not as good as I can be".

Instead of saying "That's the way it has always been done",
Say "There ought to be a better way".

Instead of saying "It may be possible, but it's too difficult",
Say "It may be difficult but it's not impossible".

How to Take Responsibility & Stop Blaming Others (Even if Others are to Blame)

Teaching children how to take personal responsibility for themselves and their actions is a key part of most elementary and middle school curriculums. We teach our kids the importance of making the right choices when it comes to drugs and alcohol, tending to their studies and behaving in class. We teach them to take responsibility for their choices, and to make them carefully in their life ahead.


As adults, though, it seems many of us forget the lessons we learned as children -- that we make choices and our choices have consequences, which, more often than not, we are responsible for.

Most experts agree, taking personal responsibility for yourself is not only the adult thing to do, it's the right thing to do and one of the only ways you can remain the happy, healthy person you want to be.

What Happens if You Don't Take Personal Responsibility?

You know you are not accepting personal responsibility if you do the opposite: blame others for your problems, life situation, hardships, character flaws, and just about everything and anything else. Rather than accepting the "blame" or responsibility for how your life is, you make excuses. Everything and anybody is to blame -- except yourself.

Sound familiar? You may be blaming others more than you think. Have you ever:

• Blamed traffic/truck drivers/slow drivers for being late to an appointment?

• Blamed your hectic schedule for the reason you've put on a couple of pounds?

• Blamed your spouse for your bad day?

People who take responsibility, on the other hand, would have handled these situations as follows:

• Admitted that they should have left a few minutes earlier for their appointment.

• Acknowledged that, while being stressed because of a busy time, they've been skipping the gym and eating junk food more often.

• Accepted that no one is to blame for their bad day, other than themselves.

When you constantly blame others, view yourself as a victim and feel others are causing all of your hardships, you inevitably surround yourself with anger, resentment and negative thoughts -- all of which are surefire ways to bring on fatigue, sadness, stress and even chronic disease.

Blaming Others Brings on Chronic Stress

Harboring negative emotions and anger means you are living with chronic stress, the type that eats away at you little by little. Chronic stress is the type of stress that has been linked to fatigue, back pain, stomach upset and headaches, along with numerous more serious illnesses.

Signs You are Avoiding Personal Responsibility

It is often easy to spot someone else who blames others (they may be the one constantly complaining about how bad their life is, yelling at others, or harboring an overly negative outlook on life), but it can be more difficult to spot it in yourself. If you do any of the following as a matter of course, you may be avoiding personal responsibility.

• You dwell a lot on the past instead of looking toward the future.

• You almost never believe you are wrong. If you asked others to be completely honest, they'd say you believe you are never wrong.

• You use other people's irresponsible behavior to justify your own ("They're driving way over the speed limit, so why shouldn't I?").

• You believe apologizing is a sign of weakness (instead of what it really is … a sign of strength).

• You feel you have been dealt a "bad hand" in life.

• You view negative occurrences/relationships in your life as being out of your control.

• You don't think you can change anything in your life for the better.

• You believe life is unfair and often feel sorry for yourself.

How to Take Responsibility, Stop Blaming Others and Start Living Your Life

Everyone blames someone else at one time or another. Nobody's perfect. And you may even be thinking, "But it WAS my spouse's/parent's/boss' fault that I missed my plane/don't trust others/don't make enough money."

And it very well may be, but the key to living a long and happy life is knowing how to accept personal responsibility and not blame others -- even when it may be their fault. This does not mean you have to go through life letting others walk all over you. On the contrary, accepting personal responsibility means you have to take the high road and be the bigger person, even when it's hard. Here's how:

• Apologize when you're wrong (this means first accepting that you're not always right).

• Admit when you've made a mistake.

• Learn to forgive.

• Be open to the ideas and opinions of others.

• Identify the things in your life that you are not happy about, and do something to change them.

• Practice saying, "I am responsible." Eventually, you will start to believe it.

• Take smart risks, and realize that you are responsible for the outcomes.

• Adopt a positive outlook on life (assume that things will go your way).

• Recognize and embrace your own shortcomings, and ask others for help when you need it.

Морен бавен август

Много харесвам София през август. Ходиш денем по улиците в центъра и тук-таме се разминаваш с майки и деца, възрастни хора, чужденци или заблудени работещи, останали по неясни причини в града. Най-изумителното е, че ти се струва нереално тихо. Чуваш си стъпките, разговорите на старците пред шахматните дъски пред театъра, тежката лапа на морните кучета  и моторите на коли, глухи и далечни, сякаш идват от топлото социалистическо лято. Чуваш фонтана, веригата на велосипеда, преминаващ до теб и дори глухата въздишка на човека от пейката. Сякаш си в друга реалност-в същия град, но друго измерение, проекция на София на друго ниво. Някой е изключил стреса, махнал е ¾ от статистите, намалил е фоновия шум, направил е цветовете по-ярки и те е пуснал да се разхождаш сред тази мизансцена. От време на време ти се струва, че под асфалта е включен реотан, за ефект на танцуващ въздух, точно като от уестърн и краката ти силно негодуват. Целиш тежките сенки и си правиш ветрило с подръчни средства. Тръгнал си някъде, но не можеш да мислиш за крайната точка. Плуваш в безвремие.




А вечерите са приказни. Жегата стои, но вече по-ниско отпреди и тежко напомня за горещия ден. Гласовете са малко по-високи, стъпките-по-бавни. Цветовете се различават само под уличните лампи, а през останалото време силуети крачат по тротоарите. Дъх на морен летен град, събудил се късно за живот. Обичам София през август.

To play or not to play?

Как сте се чувствали, когато човек играе роля във ваше присъствие и вие напълно го осъзнавате? Дали седите тихо и наблюдавате изпълнението, включвате се в играта или безпощадно го изобличавате? А случвало ли ви се е на вас да играете?




Често се замислям за цялата безразсъдност на тези ситуации. До каква степен усложняват общуването и колко нелеп е резултата от тях. Иска ми се хората да са по-открити. Иска ми се да няма предразсъдъци и комплекси и да цари непосредственост в общуването. Иска ми се хората да посмеят открито да изразяват идеите и мислите си. Колко малко ще ни трябва тогава, за да се разбираме! Колко усилия и анализ ще ни бъдат спестени?



Пожелах да направя експеримент и да говоря напълно открито и без никакви скрити мисли. Реших се да се превърна само за ден в Кандид на Волтер, за да видя как това ще се отрази на средата, в която живея и дали ще ме линчуват някъде. И си останах с желанието. Не посмях. Истината заседна някъде в гърлото ми.



Истината е, че имаме нужда от тези роли, имаме нужда да се преструваме, да преувеличаваме, да скриваме. Обществото и необходимостта да се адаптираме в него, да бъдем приети и да постигнем даден статус ни е превърнало в лицемери. Защото никой, освен безумците, децата и майка ти не може да си позволи да ти каже цялата истина.



Ами да си поживеем в театъра. Дано пиесата ви хареса.

Don’t Indulge. Be Happy

By ELIZABETH DUNN and MICHAEL NORTON

• HOW much money do you need to be happy? Think about it. What’s your number?


• Many of us aren’t satisfied with how much we have now. That’s why we’re constantly angling for a raise at work, befriending aged relatives and springing, despite long odds, for lottery scratch tickets.

• Is it crazy to question how much money you need to be happy? The notion that money can’t buy happiness has been around a long time — even before yoga came into vogue. But it turns out there is a measurable connection between income and happiness; not surprisingly, people with a comfortable living standard are happier than people living in poverty.

• The catch is that additional income doesn’t buy us any additional happiness on a typical day once we reach that comfortable standard. The magic number that defines this “comfortable standard” varies across individuals and countries, but in the United States, it seems to fall somewhere around $75,000. Using Gallup data collected from almost half a million Americans, researchers at Princeton found that higher household incomes were associated with better moods on a daily basis — but the beneficial effects of money tapered off entirely after the $75,000 mark.

• Why, then, do so many of us bother to work so hard long after we have reached an income level sufficient to make most of us happy? One reason is that our ideas about the relationship between money and happiness are misguided. In research we conducted with a national sample of Americans, people thought that their life satisfaction would double if they made $55,000 instead of $25,000: more than twice as much money, twice as much happiness. But our data showed that people who earned $55,000 were just 9 percent more satisfied than those making $25,000. Nine percent beats zero percent, but it’s still kind of a letdown when you were expecting a 100 percent return.

• Interestingly, and usefully, it turns out that what we do with our money plays a far more important role than how much money we make. Imagine three people each win $1 million in the lottery. Suppose one person attempts to buy every single thing he has ever wanted; one puts it all in the bank and uses the money only sparingly, for special occasions; and one gives it all to charity. At the end of the year, they all would report an additional $1 million of income. Many of us would follow the first person’s strategy, but the latter two winners are likely to get the bigger happiness bang for their buck.

• We usually think of having more money as allowing us to buy more and more of the stuff we like for ourselves, from bigger houses to fancier cars to better wine to more finely pixilated televisions. But these typical spending tendencies — buying more, and buying for ourselves — are ineffective at turning money into happiness. A decade of research has demonstrated that if you insist on spending money on yourself, you should shift from buying stuff (TVs and cars) to experiences (trips and special evenings out). Our own recent research shows that in addition to buying more experiences, you’re better served in many cases by simply buying less — and buying for others.
• Indulgence is often closely trailed by its chubby sidekick, overindulgence. While the concept of overindulgence is probably all too familiar to anyone who’s ever attended a Thanksgiving dinner, the word “underindulgence” doesn’t exist. (Type it into Dictionary.com, and you’ll be asked, “Did you mean counter intelligence?”) But research shows that underindulgence — indulging a little less than you usually do — holds one key to getting more happiness for your money.

• In a recent study conducted by our student Jordi Quoidbach, chocolate lovers ate a piece of this confection — and then pledged to abstain from chocolate for one week. Another group pledged to eat as much chocolate as they comfortably could and were even given a mammoth two-pound bag of chocolate to help them meet this “goal.”

• If you love chocolate, you might think that the students who absconded with the chocolaty loot had it made. But they paid a price. When they returned the next week for another chocolate tasting, they enjoyed that chocolate much less than they had the week before. The only people who enjoyed the chocolate as much the second week as they had the first? Those who had given it up in between. Underindulging — temporarily giving up chocolate, even when we have the cash to buy all we want — can renew our enjoyment of the things we love.

• The value of underindulgence casts a different light on the current debate over restricting sugary sodas. Driven by the childhood-obesity crisis, many school districts around the country have banished soda from their campuses. Leaving aside the potential health benefits of these initiatives, banning soda for a large chunk of the day may actually improve its taste. Researchers at Arizona State University demonstrated that people enjoy soda significantly more when they can’t have it right away. (The effect doesn’t hold for prune juice, a beverage that rarely incites overindulgence.)

• ¶Mayor Michael R. Bloomberg’s recent proposal to ban giant-size soda in New York City offers another intriguing route to underindulgence. Happiness research shows that, as the food writer Michael Pollan put it, “The banquet is in the first bite.” That first sip of soda really is delicious, catching our tongues by surprise with its bubbly sweetness. But our tongues and our minds quickly get used to repeated pleasures, and so the 39th sip is not as delightful as the first. Because limiting the size of sodas curtails these less pleasurable sips, Mayor Bloomberg’s proposal may improve our pleasure-to-calorie (and pleasure-to-coin) ratio, an overlooked benefit in the heated debate about the consequences of such initiatives for our freedom and our health.

• USING your money to promote underindulgence requires a shift in behavior, for sure. But another scientifically validated means of increasing the happiness you get from your money is even more radical: not using it on yourself at all.

• ¶Imagine walking down the street to work and being approached by our student Lara Aknin, who hands you an envelope. You open the envelope and find $20 and a slip of paper, which tells you to spend the cash on something for yourself by the end of the day. Sounds like a pretty sweet deal. Now imagine instead that the slip of paper told you to spend the cash on someone else. Being generous is nice, sure, but would using the money to benefit someone else actually make you happier than buying yourself the belt, DVD or apps you’ve been dying to get?

• Yes, and it’s not even close. When we follow up with people who receive cash from us, those whom we told to spend on others report greater happiness than those told to spend on themselves. And in countries from Canada to India to South Africa, we find that people are happier when they spend money on others rather than on themselves.

•  But what about individuals who are notorious for their struggles with sharing? Surely the emotional benefits of giving couldn’t possibly apply to very young children, who cling to their possessions as though their lives depended on it. To find out, we teamed up with the developmental psychologist Kiley Hamlin and gave toddlers the baby-equivalent of gold: goldfish crackers. Judging from their beaming faces, they were pretty happy about this windfall. But something made them even happier. They were happiest of all when giving some of their treats away to their new friend, a puppet named Monkey. Monkey puppets aside, the lesson is clear: maximizing our happiness is not about maximizing our goldfish. To be clear, having more goldfish (or more gold) doesn’t decrease our happiness — those first few crackers may provide a genuine burst of delight. But rather than focusing on how much we’ve got in our bowl, we should think more carefully about what we do with what we’ve got — which might mean indulging less, and may even mean giving others the opportunity to indulge instead.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/08/opinion/sunday/dont-indulge-be-happy.html?_r=1

How to Boost Brain Power

Until just a few years ago, doctors believed that the brain stopped making new neural connections - meaning that the memory began to get irreversibly worse - when the body stopped developing, usually in the early 20s. And doctors knew that, like any other part of the body, neurons weaken as people age. Loss of brain function due to neural breakdown was assumed to be a normal, unavoidable part of aging. It turns out they were wrong.
In the past few years, it has become clear that you can, in fact, make new neurons starting in your 20s and continuing well into old age. You can literally rewire the brain with new parts as the older parts wear out. How?
There are lots of things you can do right now to preserve, protect and enhance your gray matter.

1. Physical exercise
A healthy body really does mean a healthy mind. In the last decade it became clear that regular exercise beneficially affects brain function. Exercise boosts brain power by stimulating formation of new brain cells (neurons), the process known as neurogenesis. Also, exercise strengthens connections between those cells. Researchers have found the areas of the brain that are stimulated through exercise are associated with memory and learning.
Physical exercise may even help prevent Alzheimer's disease. Several studies have confirmed that regular physical activity reduces the risk of cognitive decline and dementia in old age.

2. Lifelong learning - your brain is a learning machine
For most of us, after we graduate from high school or college, our pursuit of new knowledge bottoms out over time. We may be masters at what we do, but we aren't learning new things. There is clear evidence that education and learning produce favourable changes in the brain. Researchers believe that intellectual activity play a neuroprotective role against dementia. Some studies suggest that having a low level of formal education and poor linguistic skills is a risk factor for cognitive decline in later life.
But if you continue to learn and challenge yourself, your brain continues to grow, literally. Recent research have demonstrated that learning over time enhances memory and the survival of new brain cells. An active brain produces new connections between nerve cells that allow cells to communicate with one another. This helps your brain store and retrieve information more easily, no matter what your age.
How can you challenge yourself? Scientists agree that anything that is new and expands your knowledge will be effective:
Learning to play a musical instrument
Switching careers or starting a new one
Starting a new hobby, such as crafts, painting, biking or bird-watching
Learning a foreign language. According to the latest speaking more than one language may slow the aging process in the mind.
Staying informed about what's going on in the world
Learning to cook new dish
If you let your brain be idle, it's not going to be in the best health.

3. Mental stimulation
Stimulate your brain. Make sure you're actively problem-solving and having to use your memory. Just as physical activity keeps your body strong, mental activity keeps your mind sharp and agile. The more we think, the better our brains function - regardless of age. Without something to keep us mentally charged, our brains, like unused muscles, can atrophy, leading to a decline in cognitive abilities.
The study, conducted by researchers at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York, found that mentally active seniors reduced their risk of dementia by as much as 75 percent, compared to those who do not stimulate their minds. Researchers from the Princeton University found that simple cognitive stimulation such as Bingo can be of great value to the daily management of Alzheimer's patients.
Some good ways to stimulate your mind:
-Travel
-Going to museums
-Reading books, newspapers, or magazines
-Play 'thinking' games like cards, checkers, chess, crosswords, sudoku puzzles
-Scrabble or doing crossword puzzles
-Playing musical instruments
-Dancing
-Crafts such as drawing, painting, and ceramics
-Ditch the calculator once in while and forcing yourself to do the calculation
-Volunteering
”Researchers found that a woman's memory can be impaired for at least a year after giving birth, although the effects are minor.

4. Social interaction - People are good medicine
"Social interaction" can be measured by how often people talk on the phone with friends, neighbors and relatives, how often they get together with them, how many people they can share their most private feelings and concerns with.
Socializing may have a protective effect on the brain because it's a form of mental exercise. Not only does interacting with people stimulate the brain, but it can also keep you sharp, because dealing with people can be pretty challenging. Strong social ties have been associated with lower blood pressure and longer life expectancies. And having no social ties is believed to be an independent risk factor for cognitive decline in older persons
A U.S. team found that talking to another person for 10 minutes a day improves memory and test scores. They found that socializing was just as effective as more traditional kinds of mental exercise in boosting memory and intellectual performance. They also found that the higher the level of social interaction, the better the cognitive functioning. Social interaction included getting together or having phone chats with relatives, friends and neighbors.
In a study of more than 2,800 people ages 65 or older, Harvard researchers found that those with at least five social ties - church groups, social groups, regular visits, or phone calls with family and friends - were less likely to suffer cognitive decline than those with no social ties.
Men are one and a half times more likely than women to develop mild cognitive impairment (the transition stage before dementia

5. Sleep & Nap
Sleep plays a crucial role in brain development and growth. One of the explanations the science has come up with for the healing power of sleep is that sleep may contribute to neurogenesis, the formation of new nerve cells in the brain. New research in animals provides a clue about how the sleep deprivation harm the brains - reduces the number of new brain cells. Without sufficient sleep, neurons may not have time to repair all the damage, and so could malfunction during the day.
Sleep is necessary for the brain to process and consolidate knowledge and for memories to form. Neuroscientists say that during sleep the hippocampus (where memory is stored) becomes highly active and moves knowledge from short-term memory to long-term memory.
The memories laid down by the sleeping brain are of two kinds. Declarative memory is memory for information - facts, dates, and names. Procedural memory is what allows us to do things like play a musical instrument, ride a bicycle, or add up a bill. Scientists think these two types of memory are influenced by different parts of the sleep cycle. Slow wave sleep benefit mainly the consolidation of declarative memories. In contrast, rapid eye movement (REM) sleep seems to benefit procedural memory.
According to animal studies, when you perform a task, the brain cells fire in a certain sequence. If you then fall asleep, the same cells automatically fire in an identical sequence without being distracted or disrupted by incoming visual stimuli.
There is a consistent pattern: Learn something new during the day, consolidate what you have learned during a good night's sleep, then remember or perform the task better in the morning. However, sleep before learning is also critical in preparing the brain for next-day memory formation
Even a nap in the middle of the day may benefit some learning, according to a recent study5. Sleep appears to help "set" the declarative memories and make them easier to recall.

6. Stress management
Scientists believe people exposed to chronic stress tend to have elevated levels of cortisol - a hormone produced by the adrenal glands in response to acute and chronic stress. High cortisol levels are dangerous to the brain.
Some of the most impressive effects of the stress on brain are hippocampus atrophy, shrinkage of the hippocampus or prefrontal cortex (the area of the brain unique to humans), and even neural death in some brain regions. The hippocampus, a vital brain region for episodic, spatial, and contextual memory, has many cortisol receptors, which makes it especially susceptible to stress.
Severe stress lasting weeks or months can impair cell communication in the brain's learning and memory region. Increased stress hormones lead to memory impairment in the elderly and learning difficulties in young adults.
Short-term stress is also destructive. Researcher from the University of California have found short-term stress lasting as little as a few hours can impair brain-cell communication in areas associated with learning and memory. They found that rather than involving the widely known stress hormone cortisol, which circulates throughout the body, acute stress activated selective molecules called corticotropin releasing hormones, which disrupted the process by which the brain collects and stores memories.
Stress is a constant in our lives and cannot be avoided. So, stress management is the key, not stress elimination. Several ways to help you manage stress in your daily life:
See problems as opportunities
Get away from the noise
Exercise
Learn relaxation techniques such as yoga and meditation
Cut down on unnecessary responsibilities and avoid over-scheduling
Make time for leisure activities
Get a massage

7. Laugh & Humor
Laughter is the best medicine! We've heard the expression time and again. Medical world has begun to take more serious notice of the healing power of humor and the positive emotions associated with it. By having fun and laughing, your stress levels decrease significantly. Humor stimulates the parts of our brain that use the "feel good" chemical messenger dopamine. Also, researchers found that humor improves memory

8. Healthy breakfast
It might be the last thing on your morning to-do list, or it might not be on your list at all. However, many studies have shown that having breakfast improves the ability of concentration, reaction time, learning ability, mood and memory, whereas skipping breakfast reduces people's performance at school and at work.
A recent study done at Cardiff University in Wales found that subjects who ate a high-fiber cereal in the morning showed a 10 percent reduction in fatigue, lower incidence of depression, and better cognitive skills. Fiber helps slow down the absorption of food in the stomach, so you have more energy for a longer period of time.




9. Omega-3 fatty acids
Omega-3 fatty acids are essential for brain health - they provide the physical building blocks necessary for the development and maintenance of the structural and functional integrity of the brain. In fact, one of the omega-3 fatty acids, commonly known as DHA (docosahexaenoic acid), makes up a large portion of the gray matter in the brain and is vital for brain cells function. Adding more DHA to your brain directly influences cell-to-cell communication, affects nerve conduction and neurotransmitter release, and other things that allow brain cells to send messages to each other. DHA is essential to normal brain function, and a diet rich in DHA improves learning, while a lack of DHA worsens learning ability.
French researchers4 found that people who regularly consume omega-3 rich oils, such as canola, flaxseed, and walnut oil, are 60 percent less likely to develop dementia than those who do not regularly consume such oils. Regular consumption of fruits and vegetables lowers dementia risk by 30 percent. People who eat fish at least once a week are 40 percent less likely to develop dementia.
Coldwater fish, such as salmon, tuna, mackerel, and herring are rich sources of omega-3 fatty acids (just be careful to eat this in moderation due to potential contamination with mercury). Dutch studies revealed that high fish consumption may reduce the risk of dementia and cognitive decline.




9. Blueberries
Would you believe that eating this tasty, low-glycemic superfood every day was found by the USDA at Tufts University to slow and even reverse age-related brain decline, as well as improve short-term memory loss and help reverse age-related loss of balance?!
Blueberries are a major source of flavonoids, in particular anthocyanins and flavanols. Although the precise mechanisms by which these plant-derived molecules affect the brain are unknown, they have been shown to cross the blood brain barrier after dietary intake. It is believed that they exert their effects on learning and memory by enhancing existing neuronal connections, improving cellular communications and stimulating neuronal regeneration.




10. Vegetables
Researchers found that eating vegetables appears to help keep the brain young and may slow the mental decline sometimes associated with growing old. Cruciferous and green leafy vegetables including cauliflower, spinach, kale, broccoli, cabbage, brussels sprout and collards appear to be the most beneficial. Researchers say that may be because they contain healthy amounts of vitamin E, an antioxidant that is believed to help fight chemicals produced by the body that can damage cells.
Increased blood level of homocysteine is a strong risk factor for the development of Alzheimer disease and dementia. Three B vitamins, folic acid, B6, and B12, can help lower your homocysteine levels. Fortified cereal, other grains, and leafy green vegetables are good sources of B vitamins.




11. Want to drink? Choose red wine
While heavy drinking clearly causes serious problems for many people, drinking in moderation may be good for the brain.
Intake of up to three daily servings of wine, unlike other alcohol beverages (liquor, beer), is associated with a lower risk of dementia. This may be due to the ability of red wine polyphenols to protect brain cells against alcohol-induced damage. There is well-documented evidence that resveratrol, a polyphenol found in red wine and red grape skin and seeds, has a significant antioxidant properties and produces neuroprotective effects.

12. Care for your heart and vessels
Many risk factors for cardiovascular disease may also contribute to cognitive decline and dementia.High blood pressure in midlife increases the risk of cognitive decline in old age. Diabetes and high levels of LDL ("bad") cholesterol appear to significantly increase the risk of dementia.




13. Neurobics
Created by Lawrence C. Katz, Ph.D., a professor of neurobiology at Duke University Medical Center, neurobics is a unique system of brain exercises using your five physical senses and your emotional sense in unexpected ways that encourage you to shake up your everyday routines. Studies have shown that even small changes in daily patterns cause brain stimulation.
Neurobics can be done anywhere, anytime, in offbeat, fun and easy ways. These exercises can activate underused nerve pathways and connections, helping you achieve a fit and flexible mind:
Drive to work a different route
Get dressed with your eyes closed
Brush your teeth with the other hand
Unlock the door with your eyes closed
Use your opposite hand to dial the phone or operate the TV remote
Listen to music and smell flowers at the same time
Shop at new grocery store
Research has suggested that using your left hand if you're right handed or your right if you're left handed more often, can help stimulate parts of the brain that you don't normally use.
http://www.emedexpert.com/tips/brain.shtm

Коучинг?

Дефиниция

Коучингът е изкуството да създаваш – с помощта на беседи и поведение. Консултантът-коуч подготвя за клиента подходящата среда, в която да се движи и да успява да реализира желаните цели - и то така, че постигнатите разултати да му носят удовлетворение. Коучингът е индивидуално ориентирано към целия живот като цяло консултиране: Разискват се проблеми, цели и представи; изясняват се наличните ресурси, с които клиентът разполага; изготвят се стратегии за тяхното осъществяване и се тренират преди тяхното изпълнение. Коучингът е изкуството да съдействаш - да се повиши резултатността, обучението и развитието на друг човек. Коучингът е разделение на взаимоотношенията с другите на подгрупи, което подпомага клиента да постиге изключителна резултатност в своя живот, кариера, бизнес, в обществените дела. Посредством коучинга клиентът разширява своя кръгозор, ефективност и качество на живот.Според областите на прилагане коучингът се дели на три основни категории:

-кариерен коучинг,
-бизнес коучинг и
-коучинг на личностното развитие.Според участниците в коучинга се различават: -индивидуален и корпоративен ( групов ) коучинг:

Коуч – това е специалистът, който провежда коучинга,
Клиент – това е човек или организация, търсещи услугите на консултанта-коуч.

Коучингът представя най-разнообразни нива на комуникация, на общуване; чрез него се определя значението на ролите в различните сфери на живота на клиента, както и на водещите мотиви и представи, които го ръководят в действията му; разкриват се изопачени представи и модели насадени в мисленето му от миналото. С подкрепата на консултанта-коуч се създават нови, които се тренират и при нужда се прилагат в действие. Коучингът се провежда по поръчка на клиента – в тези области от живота, в които той среща затруднения:
в различните видове на общуване – в личен и професиоанален план, способности, таланти, умения, вяра, убеждения, собствен мироглед, лична идентичност и самооценка, социални роли и положение в обществото, религия, вяра, вероизповедание, ценностна система и възпитанието, произход на семейството, семейни и фамилни взаимоотночения, цели, стремежи, мечти, професионално развитие и други.
Коучингът е професионално консултиране, придружаване и подкрепяне от хора-експерти с лидерски качества и професионален опит. Главната цел на срещите с консултанта-коуч са индивидуалното или колективно обучение за постигане на успешни промени там, където клиентът желае да постигне такива. Посредством оптимизирането на човешкия потенциал за творчество и развитие коучингът съдейства и подпомага за овладяването и преодоляването на причините, спъващи изпълнението на целите – на отделния човек или фирмена организация. По своята същност коучингът е комбинация от индивидуално подпомагане и обучение - как да се използват ресурсите, с които всеки човек и всяка фирмена организация разполага, за да постигне желания успех. Коучингът улеснява разпознаването на проблемите и причините, които ги пораждат и подпомага тяхната идентификация - като средство за тяхното разрешаване. Клиентът се учи в този процес как сам да ги разпознава и овладява, как да комуникира по-добре с останалите и да постига добри резултати в желаната посока. Основно качество на професионалния коучинг е поощряване възприятието и развитието на собствените качества и рефлекси, които всеки човек притежава и използва във взаимоотношенията и общуването си с другите.

Какво е коучинг?
Коучингът е и си остава един универсален инструмент, който подпомага еднакво добре разрешаването на проблемите и в личен, и в професионален план. Консултантът-коуч има универсална роля - той оказва подкрепа и съдействие на клиента посредством техниките и методиките на този вид консултиране. Целият живот на човека е един непрекъсващ коучинг-процес. Подсъзнанието на човека разработва програми, които той прилага на практика в живота. Човек е винаги в състояние на вътрешен диалог със самия себе си. По този начин разбира какво трябва да направи, как да постъпва в различните житейски ситуации. Твърде малко импулси отвън влияят на човекото подсъзнание и твърде силнен е Аз-ът, който е в постоянна конкуренция с влиянието на външния за личността свят. Много хора не успяват да реализират мечтите и желанията си, и когато влязат в напреднала възраст им се струва, че не са успели да изживеят живота си така, както са искали. Това няма нищо общо с материалното богатство, с произхода на семейството или със социалния статус в обществото. Основното е:
-как е успяла личността да се развие през тези години живот,
-как е развила талантите и качествата, които е притежавала,
-какви чувства е изпитвала,
-как се е справяла във взаимоотношенията си с дугите хора,
-как е използвала ресурсите, с които е разполагала, за да реализира стремежите си.

Коучингът е съвкупност от техники и умения, които помагат клиентите (най-често висши мениджъри) сами да стигнат до решенията, които са им необходими. Това е силно индивидуализиран подход, който специалистите определят като най-висшата форма на въздействие върху хората. Той е особено ефективен в динамична среда на непрекъснати промени, както и при работа под силен стрес. Областите, в които се работи, обаче са разнообразни и не се ограничават единствено с професионалното развитие. Той влиза и в по-личната сфера на своите клиенти и им помага да създадат баланс в живота си.

Коучингът съветване ли е? Консултантът-коуч в никакъв случай не е конкретен специалист като например: адвокат, застрахователен агент, медицински работник и т.н. Коучът е специализиран помощник при определени моменти и състояния в живота на човека, когато той подпомага клиента как да подходи към проблема, който има, за чието разрешаване търси помощ и съдействие от коуча. Коучингът е процес, в който клиентът разбира как да използва собствените си ресурси, за да намери сам правилното решение за действие. Коучингът е подпомагане.

Коучингът тренировка ли е? Консултантът-коуч подпомага клиента в процеса на работа как да определя силните и слабите страни на личността си, с кои да се преборва и да намалява тяхното влияние в живота си, и в същото време - как да използват силните си страни, за да се справят успешно с целите, които си поставят – за която и да е сфера от живота. В този смисъл консултантът-коуч е личен треньор за клиента. Коучингът е интерактивен, центриран към личността на клиента подпомагащ го процес, който може да обхваща както личния, така и професиоанлния му живот, от една страна, и от друга – коучингът подпомага фирмени организации и висши управленски ръководители в различни сфери на дейността им, в управлението на персонала, в разрешаването на конфликти и други. Интерактивен означава, че коучингът не е услуга към клиента – консултантът-коуч и клиентът са равнопоставени в дадената ситуация, която се разисква и за която се търси решението за успешното й разрешаване и въвеждане в действие. Клиентът не е освободен от отговорност за това, как и до каква степен ще успее да постигне желания резултат.

Коучингът е индивидуален процес на консултиране. Консултантът-коуч не предлага готови директни решения на проблемите – той подпомага клиента по време на целия процес на консултиране, като го насочва как да намери сам правилното решение, от което се нуждае. Коучингът се занимава с индивидуалните потребности на клиента. Коучингът се базира на основата на взаимното доверие между консултант-коуч и клиент. То е доброволно проявено и е важен фактор за постигане на добри резултати в съвместния процес на консултиране. Консултантът-коуч гарантира дискретност и поверителност на информацията, изразена в този процес. Само при това условие може да бъдат постигнати добри резултати. Коучът трябва да е в състояние по време на процеса на консултиране да може да изгради необходимите връзки с различни хора от обкръжението на клиента, които са от ключово значение за разрешаването на казуса на клиента. Коучингът се стреми да засили рефлексите на личността – нейните възприятия, самосъзнание, отговорност, за да може клиентът да прозре и осъзнае как точно би могъл да се противопостави на недостатъците си, как да ги превъзмогне, как да създаде нови отправни точки на поведение и взаимоотношения, за които преди дори и не е подозирал, че е възможно да има. Това дава възможност на клиента да оформи нови печеливши стратегии на поведение водещи до желаните успехи. Консултантът-коуч разяснява на клиента кои интервенции и методи ще приложи в процеса на консултиране, как ще протече самият процес и какво клиентът би следвало да вземе под внимание след приключване на консултирането. Работната концепция на консултанта-коуч се определя винаги индивидуално и клиентът трябва да е съгласен с нея, след като му бъде разяснена. В противен случай той не би разбрал как точно ще протече процесът на консултиране и е възможно да остане недоволен от постигнатите резултати. Работният процес се състои от договорени между клиента и консултанта-коуч брой сесии(срещи) всяка с времетране от 60 минути, за което двете страни подписват договор. Една от клаузите в него е конфиденциалност на поверената информация.Коучингът е ориентиран освен към определена личност като индивидуалност и към дефинирана група от клиенти – с ръководни длъжности, с мениджърски отговорности, служители в отдел и други. Консултантът-коуч не е профилиран фирмен консултант. Той се занимава с определена зададена цел, за чието успешно изпълнение е потърсен да съдейства.Към кого е насочен коучингът?

Към хората, които наистина искат и се стремят да променят живота си или нещо в него,
Към тези служители във фирми и предприятия, които искат да се орентитрат в нова посока на професионално развитие,
Към тези фирмени ръководители, на които са делегирани нови отговорности и проекти за изпълнение,
Към тези служители и фирмени ръководители, които са поставени в конфликтна ситуация и търсят начини на разрешение,
Към тези фирми и предприятия, които биха желали да повишат ефективността на дейността си или желаят да се преструктурират,
Към тези хора, които желаят да започнат самостоятелен бизнес,
Към тези хора, които имат проблеми с общуването, които се намират в процес на промяна в различни сфери от живота.

Теми в индивидуалния коучинг
анализи на ситуазии в професионалния и индивидуалния живот на клиента, подобряване на самооценката на клинта за самия себе си, разрешаване на конфликти и конфликтни ситуации,
подобряване и промяна на взаимоотношенията с близките, на работното място, с колегите, с началниците и други; разработване на ръководни стратегии на поведение, разработване на стратегии за проедоляване на влиянието на стресав ежедневието, разработване на стратегии за управление на лични кризи и неочаквани удари – нападения, загуба на близък човек, наближаваща старост и други.

Постигане на целите и ползи за клиента / фирмената организация
В началото на всеки коучинг процес най-често клиентът задава въпроса, дали той наистина може да му помогне да разреши проблема или да постигне целта, за които търси консултация.
Да, коучингът помага. Но хората, които страдат от зависимости ( алкохол, дрога, психични разстройства ) не биха могли да разчитат на коучинга, че той ще им помогне да се справят с тези си проблеми.
Още на първата среща се обсъждат проблемите и целите, с които клиентът отива при консултанта-коуч за подпомагане и разрешаване. Конкретизират се критериите и начините за постигане на желаната цел. В процеса на работа се използват знанията и компетентностите на клиента, прилагат се ментални подходи и техники на въздействие върху клиента, посредством които той се освобождава от блокади и задръжки за възприятие на обкръжаващата среда.
Ползите за клиента / фирмената организация се постигат в рамките на 5 до 10 сесии от по 60 минути, които се договарят между двете страни в зависимост от целта / проблема, поставени за обсъждане и разрешаване в съвместния процес. В случай на необходимост – по желание на клиента се провеждат допълнителни сесии, за които се сключва нов договор. Полза от коучинга фирмените организации виждат в:
-подобряване на колективната работа в екип / отделите,
-повишаване на мотивацията на екипа служители,
-засилване генерирането на нови идеи за развитие в различни области на дейността на организацията,
-намаляване на текучеството на кадри,
-намаляване на заболеваемостта сред служителите,
-повишаване на работоспособността, удовлетвореността, конкурентноспособността и други.

Много често клиентите постигат следните цели:
-по-добро самовглъбяване и вслушване във вътрешния глас – гласът на АЗ-а,
-повишаване на печалбите на самостоятелно работещите – на свободна практика,
-преодоляване на проблемите за свободната комуникация с близки, с роднини, с колеги, началници, висшестоящи,
-разрешаване на дългогодишни тежки конфликтни взаимоотношения, постигане вътрешна удовлетвореност от себе си и начина си живот,
-намиране на хармония и уравновесеност на личността,
-подобряване на постигнатите резултати в работата и в личния живот и други.

Source: http://galacreativeconsulting.com/kouching